why?????......... this is part a story and part a poem

[Oceandreaming]

Oh, BABY, where are you?
why haven't I had you yet?
Is there some reason Why
you haven't come yet?
Did I do something wrong to deserve
such a devastating condition?
I miss having children around, and
in my home, in my life.
I miss having friends.
BUT, I get depresses when I am around women and babies, and
small children. I have NOTHING in common with birth
mothers, I have been told that...
SO, I stay in my house.........
alone.............
with my animals...........
alone with my crafts..........
alone with my Boyfriend and life partner...
WHY???
don't I have periods?
do I have insommia,
hotflashes,
and
night sweats???
WHY??
with everything else I have to deal with,
why, am I infertil?
my hip displaysia,
my learning issues
my anxity which is getting worse and worse everytime i go out in public
my kidney condition..

WHY?? ME???
WHY??
Don't my parents want grandkids?
don't they want me to be happy?
I have run-away from my problems for years!
trying to find something that is missing in my life!

I finally found someone to love me for me..
my loveing, loyal, sexy, hardworking.. life partner

WHY?
Does he love me, when I can't give him children?
WHY?
does he cherish me, when no-one else ever has... ever in my life!
WHY?
doesn't my life ever work out
for me
to my advantage.

WHY??
WHY??
WHY??